UntitledA friend has diedAnd many shall mournWe approach the funeral suffering and forlornBitter tears are falling all aroundAside this rain, there's but a soundThe shuffles of feetThe muffles of the sobsSome curse the bulliesSome curse GodWord after wordIt tore into her heartEating her awayUntil she broke apartNo one seemed to noticeAnd I don't think they caredMy best friend had diedShe wasn't preparedI lost a friendAnd she lost her heartBefore I knew it, it all fell apartThe rumors they spreadAnd her hatred did tooShe became a girl I know longer knewThe bitterness it spreadSo thick and so darkShe doesn't talk anymoreNot even her snide remarksSee, someone had diedBut others did tooBroken hearts all aroundOh, the tears how they flew.
MirrorsWhy is it when I call myself fatPeople comfort me?I didn't think loving my bodyWas a sad thing to doWhy is it when they call themselves skinnyEveryone applauds them?Sometimes they wish they were biggerBecause then they could fill everyone's eyes with wonderI learn not to hear these wordsWords that are like mirrorsTo reflect the flaws of my body to meBecause I know, one day, that mirror will shatterAnd if I hold on to those words which reflected my imageI'll end up cutting myself on the broken bits of "me"The insults I would have thrived uponInstead of chasing after the grand mirror,cutting myself on the would-haves and could-havesI'll invest in a new mirrorOne as golden as my body image isAnd one as small as the voice in my head telling me I'm "Beautiful as is"Because no mirror captures my image betterThan the one that is held by me.
Thick with SugarSweeter and sweeterAnother piece of cakeTastier and tastierThis pain she cannot takeSour, so sourA gumdrop or fourWhen the box emptiesShe only looks for moreChips and candyOh, she eats it allIf her sorrow was measured by her stomachShe outweighs them allSadder, and sadderHer stomach weighs as suchLouder and louderThe sound of her gutDrowning out the sadnessShe'll eat another slice of cakeHer stomach's as heavy as her heartBecause of this pain she cannot take
CannotI don't respond to affectionI don't think I deserve itBut when you cry, and want to dieI remind you that you're worth itI remind you you can do many thingsThings that I cannotAnd always I remind myselfI'm destined just to rotI don't see a future for myselfNo, it's just not thereBut whenever I can I'll make you understandIt's always thereIf I could give this depression away as easily as I give adviceThen maybe I'd be happyAnd my heart melted of ice
Glass Is Half EmptyIf her depression were measuredby the tears she's shedShe'd fill a glassAnd as alwaysYou'd ask for more.
LoveIs not "standing up" for your friendswhen you cut others downIs not the relationship that comes with free artAnd no late-night talksIt is not how much money someone spends on youFor clothes, websites, or anythingLoveIs built upon inside jokeslate-night phone calls,pep-talks before the big test tomorrowLove is laughterIn both sorrow and jubilationLove is the embrace you givethat never faltersBecause in this harsh worldWhen love seems to be the polluted definition oftragedy and angerAll we can do is give others the warmth of our wordsThe kindness of our soulAnd the assuring embraceTo go on another day.
AnchorsIf depression were like a seaConstantly threatening to pull me underThen you’d be my anchorDrowning me with the weight you make me carry
UntitledAge five was when she felt it, a painful sting in her heartAge five is when those tantrums began, just to keep her world from falling apartAge seven was when she compared herself, and knew she wasn't enoughAge seven was when she realized, just how much she wanted to give upAge nine she was a little girl who didn't have great luckAge nine she was a little girl who thought she was fucked upAge ten she wasn't human, she was cruel jokes and rumors, tooAge ten she wasn't a girl just like me or youAge eleven she wanted a boy just to know that she was thereAge eleven was the time she knew that no one really caredAge thirteen she realized this sadness, that loomed overheadAge thirteen she never had a feeling stronger, than wanting to be deadAge fourteen things got better, the weather not so roughAge fourteen she thought things may be starting to look upAge fifteen she found relief, something other than feeling numbAge fifteen she hasn't convinced herself that she's actually love
SocializationShe's got a nice front to her.Conversation seems easy.She seems like a lovely girl,But her attitude its just sleazy.--She thinks she's doing many great thingsBy being everyone's counselor,My, that has to sting,To talk to people for hours.--She's lazy and lonely, what a terrible mixWill she ever socialize properly?Or is that a problem we can't fix?--She wants people to talk to herBut she can't keep it goingShe seems like a smart girlBut her social skills aren't flowing.--Do people tire of her as much as she does them?Is she really happy? Does she really have friends?She's just a nobody in a sea of potential,If her social skills were better, maybe she'd become essential.
You are EverythingYou are amazing.You are the smiling face,That gave that kidBetter hope for this place.You are the helping hand,Even if you didn’t know it,That helped everything turn outBetter than planned.You are the voiceThat helped someoneMake a vital choice.You are the jokeThat made them laughAnd gave them that strokeOf happiness that they needed.You are the bright eyesThat light the way,A lantern of hopeThrough the fog of lies.You are their push towardsTheir positive afterwards.And you are far from worthless.You,To someone,Are the most important personIn the world.We are all charactersIn someone else’s story.That pivotal point,That pushes them from misery,And leads them to their glory.
I Will Love MyselfSilence was at my doorstep.Rain fell from the storms of my eyesand hit the cold earth of my cheeks.Sunlight fell down my facein gentle waves.And blood tinted lipssmiled only slightly.The gentle springthat bloomed inside my chesthad begun to growand flourishand replace the winterwhose frost had held tightlyonto my heart.Silence was welcome.Tears were shed in joy.Sunlight was here to warmand blood to live.This was it.I had made it.I know who I am.
Infinitepart ii.I locked you in my closet,in the recesses of my mind.I kept you in the dark, I kept you in the stagnant, static,strangling air for what seemed likeyears because you couldn'tremember what day looked like anymore.(You would sit facing the wall,scratching letters into the paint,nails curling and cracking upward.You wrote"I love you,I love you,I love you," over and over untilyou would bleed from your eyesbecause you couldn'tkeep them open anymore.That paint was toxic.Wasteland.You fed off the fumes of driedpolymer and you were so sure thatif you tried hard enoughthe words would go throughto me.)It must've taken months.The world traveled around the sunlike you traveled around me,hovering from a distanceso that I wouldn't burn you.They all say that it was mygravity that pulled youtoward me, but it was always you,you,you.part i.They say love is blind and I believe it.But we didn't start outloving each other like we do now.Frien
Eat Something, PleaseIt's your fault, you know.It's you who's spewing your guts into the toilet,like powdery snow.Every day you hit the bathroom floor,grasp the porcelain rims,and your vomit echo through the door.I hate it! I hate it, more than anything in the world.I wish you could just tape your mouth shut,and your noises I could ignore.It's all about you, and the agony you've been through,but through your selfishness and saliva,I hope you realize I suffer too.I stay by your side when you treat me like crap.When you scream at me and yell,I've always had your back.How I wish I could purge when life gets too tough,I wish I could be weak like you,but my strength is just too much.How wonderful it would be, if you could take my place,and when you saw your broken form,then you would see the pathetic look on your face.But “plop, plop, plop” your vomit continues to roar,and through the repetitive screech,how I wish I could slam the door.I wish I had the strength to leave your
I Won't Let You Become Like MeI saw you fall to the floor.Because you couldn’t take this anymore.You laid there and said to me,Through tears that fell from your eyes,“Who cares if I were to die?”Reminding me of those hundreds of times,I’ve seen people bend and break.I’ve gotten so used to smiles that are nothing more than fake.I remembered standing by silently,Watching everyone collapse around me.Seeing bottles scattered around,Broken glass covered the ground.And I wondered to myself,“Is he ever going to get better?”And I watched you as you died,Slowly tearing yourself apart from the inside.Memories are still flickering,Behind my eyes.I suddenly remember my own cries,For someone to save me.Because I was so close to falling,That the abyss seemed more inviting,Than trying to hang on for a moment longer.Because my arms were too tired,To hold on.I am back in reality,Watching you fade away.And I see myself,And the countless other people I’ve wit
i'm cold, could you pass me a blanket?my kindergarten teachertold me there were flowers in my soul.too bad it's always autumn;dead inside of me.the garden is a crumbled heap,and my heart suffocatesbeneath the leaves.
O K A YI stress too muchI don’t sleep wellSome days I’m happy,Some days it’s hell.If I complain, I’m seen as weakThey’ll mock and laugh for days and weeksYears of tortureYears of painI’m contemplating on ending this game.Helping others,I do that bestI just want to be treated like the rest.The game goes on,But I’m far from weakI’ll strive on forwardsMy light’s not meek.Things may be hardBut they’ll be okay.I can play this game another day.