UntitledA friend has diedAnd many shall mournWe approach the funeral suffering and forlornBitter tears are falling all aroundAside this rain, there's but a soundThe shuffles of feetThe muffles of the sobsSome curse the bulliesSome curse GodWord after wordIt tore into her heartEating her awayUntil she broke apartNo one seemed to noticeAnd I don't think they caredMy best friend had diedShe wasn't preparedI lost a friendAnd she lost her heartBefore I knew it, it all fell apartThe rumors they spreadAnd her hatred did tooShe became a girl I know longer knewThe bitterness it spreadSo thick and so darkShe doesn't talk anymoreNot even her snide remarksSee, someone had diedBut others did tooBroken hearts all aroundOh, the tears how they flew.
MirrorsWhy is it when I call myself fatPeople comfort me?I didn't think loving my bodyWas a sad thing to doWhy is it when they call themselves skinnyEveryone applauds them?Sometimes they wish they were biggerBecause then they could fill everyone's eyes with wonderI learn not to hear these wordsWords that are like mirrorsTo reflect the flaws of my body to meBecause I know, one day, that mirror will shatterAnd if I hold on to those words which reflected my imageI'll end up cutting myself on the broken bits of "me"The insults I would have thrived uponInstead of chasing after the grand mirror,cutting myself on the would-haves and could-havesI'll invest in a new mirrorOne as golden as my body image isAnd one as small as the voice in my head telling me I'm "Beautiful as is"Because no mirror captures my image betterThan the one that is held by me.
Thick with SugarSweeter and sweeterAnother piece of cakeTastier and tastierThis pain she cannot takeSour, so sourA gumdrop or fourWhen the box emptiesShe only looks for moreChips and candyOh, she eats it allIf her sorrow was measured by her stomachShe outweighs them allSadder, and sadderHer stomach weighs as suchLouder and louderThe sound of her gutDrowning out the sadnessShe'll eat another slice of cakeHer stomach's as heavy as her heartBecause of this pain she cannot take
CannotI don't respond to affectionI don't think I deserve itBut when you cry, and want to dieI remind you that you're worth itI remind you you can do many thingsThings that I cannotAnd always I remind myselfI'm destined just to rotI don't see a future for myselfNo, it's just not thereBut whenever I can I'll make you understandIt's always thereIf I could give this depression away as easily as I give adviceThen maybe I'd be happyAnd my heart melted of ice
Glass Is Half EmptyIf her depression were measuredby the tears she's shedShe'd fill a glassAnd as alwaysYou'd ask for more.
LoveIs not "standing up" for your friendswhen you cut others downIs not the relationship that comes with free artAnd no late-night talksIt is not how much money someone spends on youFor clothes, websites, or anythingLoveIs built upon inside jokeslate-night phone calls,pep-talks before the big test tomorrowLove is laughterIn both sorrow and jubilationLove is the embrace you givethat never faltersBecause in this harsh worldWhen love seems to be the polluted definition oftragedy and angerAll we can do is give others the warmth of our wordsThe kindness of our soulAnd the assuring embraceTo go on another day.
AnchorsIf depression were like a seaConstantly threatening to pull me underThen you’d be my anchorDrowning me with the weight you make me carry
UntitledAge five was when she felt it, a painful sting in her heartAge five is when those tantrums began, just to keep her world from falling apartAge seven was when she compared herself, and knew she wasn't enoughAge seven was when she realized, just how much she wanted to give upAge nine she was a little girl who didn't have great luckAge nine she was a little girl who thought she was fucked upAge ten she wasn't human, she was cruel jokes and rumors, tooAge ten she wasn't a girl just like me or youAge eleven she wanted a boy just to know that she was thereAge eleven was the time she knew that no one really caredAge thirteen she realized this sadness, that loomed overheadAge thirteen she never had a feeling stronger, than wanting to be deadAge fourteen things got better, the weather not so roughAge fourteen she thought things may be starting to look upAge fifteen she found relief, something other than feeling numbAge fifteen she hasn't convinced herself that she's actually love
SocializationShe's got a nice front to her.Conversation seems easy.She seems like a lovely girl,But her attitude its just sleazy.--She thinks she's doing many great thingsBy being everyone's counselor,My, that has to sting,To talk to people for hours.--She's lazy and lonely, what a terrible mixWill she ever socialize properly?Or is that a problem we can't fix?--She wants people to talk to herBut she can't keep it goingShe seems like a smart girlBut her social skills aren't flowing.--Do people tire of her as much as she does them?Is she really happy? Does she really have friends?She's just a nobody in a sea of potential,If her social skills were better, maybe she'd become essential.
What do you believe in?Do you believe in God .I do. If you dont believe in God believe in yourself and love. Love can heal many wounds. Do you believe in hell. To me it is a state of mind but evil does exist . Do you believe in heaven. I do. We all shine on like the beautiful stars . The question is what did you do with your life?Did you make a difference to someone. Money cant buy love but love can move mountains. Do you have faith in anything. Have faith in the power within your heart. Do you have hope? Hope for peace. Hope for a better world. I am a dreamer but I am unique. Think life is short friends . I i will live it each moment every second with awe and love. Love is the most powerful weapon use it with wisdom. Love with a honest heart and courage. Peace brothers and sisters. We are all a human family.
Dear Universe,Can you tell 16 year old me that I'm 20 now and I made it out alive. She won't know what you're talking about, but at least she'll know it's possible.
WeakSatan preys on the weakest of us.He plagues the minds of the broken.We who are torn in twoThat is who he plunges his fangs into.
I Tried, DammitYou werethe right piecefor an old puzzleand I broke youtrying to fit youin a new one.My knuckles are bleedingand I'm screamingat the top of mybattered lungsbut you're hemophobicand too deaf to hear me.
Sometimes Dead Girls Forget What Stars Look LikeThose nights insomnia catches up to me,I imagine what the sky must look like and I count the starsand I think, maybe they don't shine for us.Maybe their glow is their way of crying "notice me,I'm important and I can do good."Perhaps they're searching for meaning in their life,just the way we use them to search for our home across the oceanand for a new worldand for something other than dead sea.Maybe they're afraid of burning outjust like I'm afraid of burning down bridges and friendshipsand maybe they think they're not good enoughthat they could have been better,that they could have been a sun or a planetbut they missed their opportunity.I wonder if the stars live in cliques,or if those constellations are their family members,and I wonder if they ever get into fights with their parentsor run away from homeor write about it?I bet the stars live like us,but what would I know?I'm just a dead girl from the grave,and I haven't seen a star in decades.
Empty ShellI didn’t think much of it when I was little.I didn’t notice all of the bottlesThat littered the counter tops and the coffee tables.I didn’t notice how you were always so unstable.I didn’t think it odd for a momentBecause the whole time I’ve been around you’ve been broken.I haven’t seen you actually happyAnd it kills me.I haven’t smelt your breath without a hint of liquorHiding behind it.You’ve always walked around with a heavier shadowThe darkness sticks to youIt slowly made its way from your shoesTo your insides and ate away at them until you were left hollow.A hollow shell.Somewhere on the climb up the mountain you fell.You broke all of your bonesAnd couldn’t make it back home.You never saw what it was like to see from the top of that mountain.To see that things get better,So you neverTried.The things that I never paid attention to when I was smallIs allThat I can see now.And I feel so horribleBecau
Just SmileJust SmileThe rush of the wind, right beneath your feet.It's knocked you down, on the left of the street.People will laugh, people will mock, and people will scornSometimes, like me, you wish you've never been born.But like my dearest friends taught me, just smileSmile during the good times and try your darn hardest when dealing with the bad.This world is bleak, it has a lot to frown over, so just look life in the face and grin.Tell it, “no matter how bad you treat me. I'm not going to let you win!”Keep moving my guy, gal, no matter what you look like or how you sound.There's one thing hatred can't take away from from this earth,and that's the fact that frowning is more strenuous on the face.So make your life, and your body feel much better bySmiling.
Staying aliveI feel like a loserLike the world is my enemyLike I can't do anything rightI want it to endI feel like giving upLike dyingBut I can'tI must keep fightingI must stay alive
beloved/be loveddo not let someone else be your sunor moonfill your universe up with stars andclouds and planets andasteroid beltslet others be within yourfavorite constellationlet them shine their brightestgleam for all that they areand all that they can benotice their twinklenotice themif they dim down andexplode in a supernovado not let them be a black holedo not let other people'sdarkness consume yoube your own sunand moonbecause the first thing you see every morningis your own skinand you deserve to be the center of your own universe.
O K A YI stress too muchI don’t sleep wellSome days I’m happy,Some days it’s hell.If I complain, I’m seen as weakThey’ll mock and laugh for days and weeksYears of tortureYears of painI’m contemplating on ending this game.Helping others,I do that bestI just want to be treated like the rest.The game goes on,But I’m far from weakI’ll strive on forwardsMy light’s not meek.Things may be hardBut they’ll be okay.I can play this game another day.